our alsatian adventure

carnaval

Today the kids participated in the school 'Carnaval' celebration...

This is one of the few times per year that parents are allowed to get involved at school - we are called in for the back to school information night (just the facts - no fun), Christmas Market, Carnaval and the end of year spectacle. I try to volunteer for other things - like field trips - but it is rare that the teachers want us parents around...  School is school and home is home - the two are not meant to mix. We made the mistake of trying to get involved in our 'very American way' and now I have been asked to spend an afternoon presenting 'America - its culture, people and traditions  to the kids of the village. That will be another blog post. Our kids are the only English speakers in the school and for many of the people in the village - the first Americans they have ever met. So they are all very interested - sort of like we are the pandas at the zoo or something...I don't get it. Its hard to get them to admit it but the French really are enamored with our culture. They hate some of the things we do - but at the end of the day they really love us.

Back to Carnaval. Kids and adults both get to dress up and act like fools for a few days here. In Germany the celebrations have been going on for a few days. Back in Basel the excitement of Fasnacht (which I have posted about before) gets going next week. And it is serious tradition with groups that practice for months leading up to parades that last for days on end. Truly one of the highlights of Basel culture. 

Here in the Alsace there is a mix of traditions - there have been a number of celebrations leading up to Fasnacht but given the proximity to Basel next week is the big scene. I'm not even sure what goes on in the rest of France but I can tell you that many of the kids had very Swiss/Basler costumes today during our parade through town. But there is also a mix of something else here - confetti. I have to say I was a bit turned off by the fact that some of the kids were throwing mixed colored confetti - they sell it that way in the stores - totally not cool in Basel. Mixed color confetti is not allowed because it may be reclaimed confetti from the street. Yesterday I winessed some kids picking up the confetti from an earlier parade and bagging it for future use. If I were Swiss those kids would have lost a hand. Totally banned in Basel. Probably the worst thing you could do during Fasnacht. 

Of course the work at school has been leading up to this. Fiona has been reading about the 'Arlequin Prince de Carnaval' (I love to say 'har-le-qwin' and watch her get so upset and then insist that I say it with a French accent) The kids have both had to memorize Carnaval poems. We were asked to bring in Carnaval related snacks for the kids. I do enjoy that the school subject (for Fiona mostly) revolve around the season. We have been through Autumn, Christmas and now Carnaval. 

Both Seth and Fiona decided to wear their new Colonial Williamsburg costumes (thanks Auntie Melissa)  for the parade. 

Seth as a pirate/revolutionary - 

Fiona as a colonial girl... and a friend (the biggest boy in 1st grade) dressed as a pink pig. 

One of the other mothers asked me if Fiona was a character from the 'little farm show in America'. ?? I asked if it was a new show (maybe a reality series I missed). No - she was talking about a show from her childhood - the 70's/80's... ?? What? I thought for a minute - looked at Fiona and then. A-ha. Little House on the Prairie! That was it. The kids had told everyone they were 'traditional Americans' - so I can see where the pioneer thoughts came from.

During the parade someone asked if we celebrated Carnaval in America. Fiona looked puzzled. She said she had lived here for her whole life and didn't know if we did anything for Carnaval in America. I explained that in New Orleans Mardi Gras was a big deal but not quite the cultural celebration that Carnaval is here.

Two things struck me during this conversation.

First - my kid has no idea of what goes on in her own culture. I am pretty sure she knows that we do Thanksgiving and that there is a hot day in the summer for fireworks (both France and Switzerland have those days too) but otherwise she really doesn't know exactly what goes on in America. I try to let her in on American things - I swear. But at the end of the day she is growing up in France watching BBC television. She does crave the tv show Arthur - so I guess that teaches her a thing or two about America but outside that it is up to us. Oh no! I am not 100 percent sure that she gets the whole idea of national identity.

Second - most of our American dress up fun is covered by Halloween... Kids here (and my kids) have memories of Carnaval dress up whereas in America my dress up memories are associated with Halloween. My kids do go out at Halloween and they have fun but it isn't shared in the local culture. So why don't we celebrate Carnaval in the US and why do we celebrate Halloween? Is Carnaval too religious for the US? I hear Halloween has run into some trouble lately in the US for being religious or inappropriate or something that might be bad for kids at school. Would Carnaval go over well? As long as the kids are having fun I can't argue with it...

After the parade the kids were allowed to run wild in the school yard while one of the mothers made crêpes. We all had confetti stuffed into the inner reaches of our costumes

and another school milestone was marked.

 

 

 

late winter

Winter hit late this year but it hit us hard. Until a few weeks ago we didn't have a flake of snow and then...

Plenty of snow for the kids. Not tons but enough for the kids to get out and enjoy it.

Now I don't mind a bit of snow but it was accompanied by some of the coldest temperatures on record here - below 0 (32f) for a couple of a weeks. Rare for these parts... Some days around -20 (-4f)

Needless to say we had trouble - a frozen pipe - not in our house but the supply to the 'never ending construction' that is our guest house. This was on the heels of a brand new circuit breaker that melted causing the toilet pump to malfunction in turn causing a flood. After a series of repairmen and extra euros all seems to be in order for now...

The kids loved the snow - we have a wonderful sledding hill that they spent many hours going up and down, up and down...

But now the snow is all gone. Melted away... its almost starting to feel like spring. 

cultural lessons - raising american kids in france

Decided to try and revisit the blog... So many random things happen here in France - I really should jotting down the story - but as usual time is at a premium around here. So I will just try note some crazy experience from the day/week/month as I can.

The kids are 1.5 years into French school which has been quite an enlightening experience for all of us. They have found their way and have made plenty of friends. It has been an adjustment for everyone - in so many ways. I will never 100 percent understand French culture but having our kids (and therefore the family) immersed linguistically and culturally through school and friends has given me an interesting view on the culture - and how it compares to my own American culture.

What got me to thinking about the blog was all the fuss about French parenting that has been in the news following from the book Bringing Up Bébé. I haven't read the book yet but it basically details the strict nature of French parenting and the well beahved kids. I must say the commentary on the book has been interesting - quite a bit from people who seem to know nothing about France. Much of the book (as many books on France) seems to draw on the Parisian experience of an expat. In fact, I even feel a bit silly stating an opinion on something that I observe on a daily basis but do not have the true cultural insight to understand.  But I will say that I find parents here do fall on the side of strict and the kids (in front of adults) are quite well behaved in many situations.

Just as the author, I do see some differences. We (Americans) are soft on our kids. Yes I threaten. Yes I take things away. But this doesn't come close to what I have seen with many of Seth and Fiona's friends. The expectations are high. Good behavior/manners/respect are all requirements. And it is up to all adults to make sure that the kids follow through on the good behavior. I regularly have the kids' friends over for lunch and I always ask the parents what they will eat - or if there is anything that they might not like to eat. The answer is always the same - they will eat what you serve them - and this is true (for the most part...none of the French kids I have over will eat avocado or guacamole..they try but the result is always the same - total disgust). They parents also give me free license to discipline the kids and they mean it. And the kids know that other adults will discipline if need be. 

It seems that much of society here is on the same page when it comes to parenting - or at least being strict when needed. Seth was recently invited to a birthday party - he was quite looking forward to it. The day before the party the boy's mother was standing at the school gate explaining that the party had to be postponed and handing out apology letters. Quite nice of her I thought. I asked if the boy was feeling OK (assuming he was sick). She gave me a puzzled look. I quickly read the note which was quite lengthy but the crux was 'il m'a insultée et manqué de respect'. He disrespected her? So I asked what he did. 'He said a bad word...' she responded. I didn't dare ask what the word was. I have always threated 'I will cancel your party!!!' but have never had the balls to follow through. I was amazed that this woman actually followed through on something like this. All of the other parents were in agreement and nobody (except the kids) was very upset about the two week party delay. I asked one other mom if she thought it was harsh - she said 'Of course not - it is great that she did that. How else will he learn to respect his parents'. Of course I know plenty of strict English speaking parents who follow through with the threats and have very strict boundaries but it just doesn't seem as widespread in the US as it does here - or maybe that is just my perception. I doubt I could ever cancel a birthday party the before...

This is just one of the many times I have seen parents here get so serious with kids - be it their own kids or other kids. I had to get into it with a little boy who had punched Seth in the face so hard he drew blood. I wasn't sure what to do but I had witnessed other parents shake up (not physically - but close) kids and give them a good scare after an episode of bad behavior. And then there are the teachers...don't even get me started. There are certainly some serious boundaries in the classroom - and if you step out of line you are in some dangerous territory.

I am not sure how I feel about all this. Is there a balance? Do kids here grow up with too much fear? Do we let our kids get away with too much? Are the French too strict? I sometimes feel like I am too strict with the kids but these people make me look like Captain Kangaroo...  Does this happen in the US? I haven't really had any parenting experience in the US so I have very little to compare it to... I guess we will continue to learn in our own way.